Worth It

We grumble about the place we are in or we cry out to God as to why He has placed us in this circumstance, why and do we really have to do the hard thing and we wonder in frustration and desperation, "Is it worth it?".  Is the struggle, the pain, walking by faith when everything and everyone says the opposite way is the way, the hurt, trusting in the unseen and leaving the tangle for something we ourselves aren't sure will come to pass - Is it worth the humbling process and dying of self and pride, risking it all in a leap of faith, is it worth our comfort? 
 But what if He called us here just for that encouraging word to that someone? Or prophetic word into a wondering life? What if He put us in that circumstance to show His love to that person though us? That He wanted to show this person His power, might, love mercy and saving grace through our life story, He chose us to be living proof? Picture those people who you have spoken those words, talked to casually but it meant the world to them, the ones who God has placed in your life. Can we look into their eyes, each one, one by one, each face, let it capture you and steal your heart. Now, are they worth it?

Living Proof

I am a pilgrim, a weary traveler who has traveled though my past, reclaiming ground that I once lost. I have visited past hurts and sorrows, regrets and betrayals and rewrote the ending to read "redeemed". 

I live a sojourners life, scattered abroad the earth in lands that I do not call my home. Living out a life moving forward, and taking the next step my Author and Finisher of my faith writes, wherever that might be; on Mt. tops, downslopes, over countless hills and just as many valleys. 

My heart cries out for true worship and my soul longs for the supernatural. I am living proof my Redeemer redeems.

Riding on The Lord's Power

I am at the coast this weekend and my view right now is looking out over the ocean and crashing waves. Today is particularly windy and somewhat stormy, and every once and a while I can see a flock of seagulls gliding in the gust of powerful wind. It has made me think of how the Holy Spirit and power, strength of God is like the the powerful wind, it lifts us up and we just ride on the wind; we don't have to work at it or struggle. We lean into the mighty power of the Holy Spirit and open up our arms wide and we take flight and He raises us up to do the impossible, fearful, do the thing we could not do on our own strength or power or might.

"You O Lord, raise me up to stand on mountains,

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas,

and I am strong when I am on Your shoulders,

You raise me up to more than I can be."

New Revelation to Old Scriptures

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and lean no on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

Those of us who have grown up in the church or have been walking with the LORD for a long time often forget the depths and full understanding of scripture because we have heard them all growing up. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of those scriptures that we've all read a lot, at least me, read it tons of times and then one day you read it and its like a whole new verse and a new revelation, you jump up and say, "I get it! ". That happened to me today with this scripture.

To trust in the Lord with all my heart - I can often trust God on a surface level and say, 'I'm going to trust You Lord in this.' but then am still depressed, I try and contrive my own plan, and worry how things will work out. But He wants me to trust Him with my whole heart not leaving any room for worry or still try and plan my own cores. Wholeheartedly trusting Him.

Lean on my own understanding - I am not to lean one way or the other with my own limited human understanding. For instances, how we say, 'I'm leaning more towards this..or that' I shouldn't lean one way or the other with only my understanding of the problem or situation.

In all my ways acknowledge Him - So many times I acknowledged He is there, reigning in heaven but not present in my circumstance. Or I know that He is there but I won't acknowledge Him or His view point. But it says, in all my ways acknowledge Him. I know when I was little and I was trying to figure something out or something to fit I would be so stubborn and sit there and get frustrated trying on my own understanding, as it were, to get it to work. And when my mom would come by and ask if she could help or try and enlighten me how it went or how it should go I would, in my stubbornness, say, 'No, I can do this! Me do!'; and totally disregard and not acknowledge her there or her help of way to do it.

He shall direct my paths - This goes right along with the explanation above in that, once I do acknowledge Him there and His help, He will direct my paths. Just as if I had acknowledged my mom and her help and better knowledge of how things work she would help me understand lead me in the right path to figure it out or getting it to work. So too, when I acknowledge the LORD, His presences in the situation and His infinite wisdom and foreknowledge, He shall direct my paths.

Psalms 120-121

" In my distress I cried to the LORD, and He heard me. Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue...Woe is me that I dwell in Meshech, that I dwell among the tents of Kedar! My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war." psalm 120:1-2,5-7

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." psalm 121:1-2

I so often forget that in scripture where our English translation and the set up of chapters you often lose the fluidness of going from one chapter to the next; that they all really flow one right into the other. Here we see the psalmist crying out in distress to the LORD, to be delivered from a place, people and situation that stirred up discord, unrest and war. I am sure a lot of us can relate to the psalmist here, you don't have to look to far to find disunity, wars stirring up (whether within churches, friendships, family or even within country's). Or think of any situation that has cause your soul to cry out in desperation and despair and distress to the Father for help, rescuing, deliverance from the evil and unrest surrounding you. That every time you try and make amends or to work things out peaceably they want nothing to do with it or you. Maybe perhaps you have felt like a foreigner, in a land that was dark and cut off from worship to the One True God. That is exactly how the psalmist felt! For "Meshech" means 'foreigner' and "Kedar" means 'dark' to be cut off from worship to the One True God.

In this world, this house of war, where life is often distressing and this place of residence seems so far away for us sojourners who are on pilgrimage home to true worship to our God and fellowship with our Father; where our hearts cry out for help from this land were these eternal souls have dwelled to long in a foreign place, there is a Help.

Just as the psalmist realized, as we move to the next chapter we see that after we pour out our hearts like water before the throne of The King, our Father[Lamentations 2:19]. And we stop, look up and lift our eyes to the hills, its then that our Father lifts our chin up higher, towards the heavens and we realize, where our help comes from; the strength to keep walking forward when your feet are blistered and weary, the endurance and hope to continue living life in a dark oppressed land, the boldness to speak the peaceable response to the person who has only cause discord and unrest.

My help to do all those things, comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; the residences where He has called us to live in this moment, that person whom the Lord desires to use you to show and speak His love to, places where we have been chosen and called to prove God's presences. He created all. For our good and His glory.

In the midst of our distress God created a Keeper the LORD to keep us where ever we go[psalm 121], a Helper the Holy Spirit to teach us all things and to bring to our remembrance all things He has said to us[john14:26] and Rescuer the Savior Jesus Christ to save us and deliver us [Luke 2:11, Luke 4:18-21]

Words to the Weary

But take heart! …as I have promised … see, I am doing a new thing!...

now it shall spring forth… I send My love and My faithfulness…

you will never lose Me, I come with My own guarantee…

’untimely events’ don’t exists with Me, for all things are ‘timed’ by Me…

I have redeemed…I never stop redeeming...

Redeemer and Fulfiller of Promises

Your decisions based only on impulses may feel good at the time; it might fulfill that need for a moment or two. But the reality is, it just makes the need bigger and more needs in your life. Sarah’s decision based on impulse and the feeling of inadequacy and responsibility for the ‘how’ in circumstances to come to pass. And in turn she found herself feeling even more inadequate because her maidservant could give her husband what she seemingly could never give her husband. A child, now that need, that hole got even bigger. Granted, God used that decision and redeemed it, for He is our Redeemer, and He will always redeem. He never stops redeeming our past.

But the thing is, she took on a weight she was never intended to carry. God didn’t ask her or give her the reasonability to give and make sure Abraham’s descendents were to be as the number as the stars. He didn’t give Abraham a seemingly impossible promise and then say, ‘okay Sarah, now you need to fulfill this.’ He was the one who gave the promise because He was the one who was going to fulfill it. He doesn’t give you a promise and then expect you to fulfill it. He is going to fulfill. ‘Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” (Phil. 1:6)

But He Knows...

"The heart knows its own bitterness... Even in laughter the heart may sorrow, and the end of mirth may be grief." - Proverbs 14:10,13

Isn't that true, before we leave the bathroom after putting on our make up, blow-drying our hair and getting dressed we put on a mask. A ceramic mask that conveniently covers our true face and therefore our true feelings. It doesn't matter if we've been crying and our cheeks are stained with tear drops, we pull out the mask and no one sees them, just a plastic smile that almost looks genuine. Laughter flows off our lips, though you alone know its as hollow as a tree eaten from the core out by a disease we might as well call bitterness or grief. Our sighs of secret pain could easily be mistaken for a sigh of contentment with our masks squarely in place. We put on all these disguises, masks and facades that might fool the onlookers peering in but can not fool our heart peering out from within. We can try, as many of us do, to deceive our selves to even believe the mask we're wearing; but at the end of the day after all the amusements and mirth, though the feeling of grief and sorrow seemed to have been laughed away, they slip right back up. Like a fresh cut, you dab a cloth on it to stop the bleeding for awhile, but when you take it off to peer at your wound the the blood slowly starts to slip out of the cut. So you rap it up again ever so tightly in the cloth to make it stop bleeding, stop hurting.

As Beth Moore aptly put it. "Life's way of reacting to a crushed heart is to wrap tough sinews of flesh around it and promise we'll never let ourselves get hurt again. But in keeping love from going out, we keep love from coming in. We risk becoming captives in our own self-made fortresses."

Yes, its hard. Yes, it hurts. God doesn't minimize the pain, but He does ask us to grow through the sorrow and grief. That we wouldn't ignore it and refuse to 'feel' through the hard times. To not be fake about anything but be real in all things. Even if it be only to Him. Just as His word says.

" Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord. Lift your hands towards Him..."

(Lamentations 2:19)

" I called on Your name, O Lord, from the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: 'Do not hide Your ear from my sighing, from my cry for help.' You drew near on the day I called You, and said, 'Do not fear!" (Lamentations 3:55-57)

A Season In The Rain

"....A season in the rain will end at last, a season full of pain will surly pass, the reason will be plan some day when Love reveals it's corse, such are the seasons of the soul...." Listening to those words, "....A season in the rain will end at last..." I found myself using those words as a soothing balm for my weary soul; reassuring my soul and convincing myself that there is an end to this rain that seems to never stop pouring. But then I thought about how much I love to swing and dance in the down pour of rain. I'll jump at the chance to run out and be utterly drenched in the buckets of rain being dropped and snatch every moment I have in that place before it ends to a light mist. Yet now, with my soul season in that place, I was not filled with joy at the sight of it, nor in shear delight of the thought of being in such a place for long. I had no desire to go out and dance in it, swing as hard and as high as I could till the chain lost tension and than gained it back with a jerk. I began to ponder why I didn't and came to the thought that I don't take advantage of this season because I figure it will never end. Believing that there isn't any blue sky's behind the gray clouds in my view. But just as the down pour of rain soon ends and the sun pulls back the curtains of clouds to warmth and light, so to will the light and warmth soon draw the curtains of clouds and darkness back in my soul. So why I am in this season of rain why not enjoy it to its fullest, snatch up the time I do have in it as precious and soon ending. Dance in it without a care in the world, jump in all the puddles you can find like no ones watching! Swing till you feel as though you can touch those muddy rain clouds and put them in your pockets! Stand in the middle of the street and let the buckets of rain drops kiss your face with each slash! For a season in the rain will end at last.