Mercy in disguise

When we lose someone who is close to us, a loved one, maybe one who we’ve only said hi to with an occasional smile just a couple of times or even someone we may have never met face to face and are only connected through interceding for them in pray; it is still hard. Why? Because we don’t know what to do with loss. We were never made to say goodbye.  We were made for relationship, even the relationship with a acquaintance, so when that is taken away it goes against everything in our being and we don’t know what to do. When that thing happens and we go through what we were never made to for, we do everything in our power to keep them... those who we are close to, we’ll do whatever to save them.  

Yet in the medical field we hear and some even witness, medical personnel that do everything humanly, medically possible and yet the person still fades away.  Why?  I don’t know the answer; no one does but God, but recently I was thinking about this and the Lord said, “What if it was My mercy to that person?  What if it was My mercy in disguise?”.

We live in a dark, corrupt and unjust world and those who know Christ as their Lord and Savior and are taken away from us, are given mercy; being released from the hurt and darkness of this world and being healed completely, far better healing than any medical help this world offers, they are made whole.  But not just that, with them leaving and that ache within our heart remind us that heaven awaits, revealing the greater longing that this world can’t satisfy; those who go before us go to point our hearts to things above. 

What if the trials of this life are Your mercy in disguise, what if our greatest disappointments, dearest losses and the aching of this life, the healing that comes through tears, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, and endless “whys” are Your mercy in disguise. 

"The same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call upon Him." - Romans 10:12

Have you prayed for something or over a circumstance for a while now and because you have not seen an answer, you began to be doubtful that there was even an answer?  Perhaps, in your mind,  your limitations have become God's limitations.   But as Romans says, our God abounds in riches for all who call upon Him.  Therefore, let us pray knowing that our own needs will never exhaust God's resources, for He abounds in riches for all.  And dear one,  you fall into that category of all!

Psalm 23

    

 "...Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." - Psalms 23:4

I love this psalm, it has always been a healing balm for my soul in so many different seasons.  But this part has always left me somewhat perplexed, and perhaps it's because of the interpretation I have commonly heard on it; that shepherds use their staff to correct or discipline the sheep, and yank the sheep back from jumping off a cliff to their death.  I don't know about you, but to me, those attributes don’t quite bring the same sort of comfort to me as the rest of the psalm.  

Then one day I was faced/confronted with seeing, for the first time since I was a little girl, a man who done to me a wrong, that was evil even in the eyes of thieves and robbers.  I sat across the room frozen in my seat, as the sense of being a little helpless girl washed over me; steeped with emotion yet paralyzed with fear and shock as he glanced over and threw a mocking look my way.  The Lord brought this Psalm to mind and as I eagerly turned there in my Bible, I read that phrase and was flooded with comfort, peace and security.  Eyes filled with tears, I felt the Lord almost audibly say to me, “My rod is there to ward off anyone who would try and harm, intimidate and frighten one of My sheep.  I use the staff to guard and protect you from any evil that comes in to steal, kill or destroy.  My rod and My staff, they are there to comfort you.” 

It was there that I realized what that verse meant, His rod and staff bring me comfort knowing no matter what comes against me, He who is greater stands guard over me.  When I am overcome with fear of evil that confronts me, when the enemy tries to intimidate me and shame me back into slavery by bringing up my past, God raises His staff against him and with a authority that only The Almighty has and commands him to leave. 

The Almighty God who reigns in heaven, Redeemer of every past and all that may have been stolen, it is He who shepherds over me and who shepherds over you.  I sat in amazement at this thought and let His perfect peace cast out my fear and it was as if my heart said back to Him,

“Your rod and Your staff, O Lord, they comfort me.”

Losing Something

Sometimes I think that when we lose something like a dream, title, or innocence, things that aren't tangible, we don't really grieve that loss or maybe we don't even know how.  Yet if we lose something physical, tangible, however insignificant or small it may be, when we see something actually being taken away we tend to grieve more and harder.  I think that most of the grieving done with the small or seemingly insignificant things is simply an overflow of the grieving we never really had with the bigger things in life; that we are weeping not really over the thing presently being taken away, but weeping the past things now finally presenting themselves in a physical way.  So when you just can't seem to get over the small losses of life you're not being a wimp or need to just get over it - sometimes you simply need to grieve the past losses, let the tears stream from your face and let them soften your heart and let the healing process begin.             

"Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And I don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But I can not forget
The way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain" 
- "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas

Celebrate Forgiveness

Lord, gather me into Your holy temple where joy and gladness reign forever more and no grief or regret may overwhelm me.  Fill this weak vessel with Your joy that will strengthen me.  Calm my waterfall of emotion and bring them beside still waters; and restore my soul and restore unto me the joy of Your salvation.  May Your grace get a hold on me and never let me go, nor let me forget Your forgiveness; let me remember it in freedom from guilt and mourning but instead replace them with lavish feasting in Your presence.  

About My Father's Business

The other night I was plea-fully praying "Lord, use me. I'm at Your disposal. Whatever it is, I will do it!  Just give me a goal, an everyday purpose of what I am supposed to do!"  

And He response enlightened the eyes of my understanding to see a glimpse of just how deep the Father's love is towards, for me!  "I don't want to "use" you or have you at My "disposal" because you are of such precious value, to just dispose of to a task and are of much more worth than to be used and then discarded.  I made you for more than this and for higher roads; I made you with eternal value!  I call you to walk with Me while I am about My Father's business that you too may be about the Father's business."  

And I saw a picture of Him holding out His hand as an invitation to walk with Him everyday to work, to job-shadow Him as He went about His Father's business.  

Each day is a new experience and a new adventure, though everyday is different, things to be done change, but the goal and my purpose never does; seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with My God and be about My Father's business.   

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart...the steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in His way."

Psalm 37:4,23 

Longing For Something More

"For You have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping.  So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving-light." 

That last phrase caught my eye, "life-giving-light", maybe its just because I live in a place where the sun is treated almost as a delicacy or luxury; we will take every opportunity we get to be outside when the sun comes out, even if its cold and sunny out, we will just bundle up more!  Either way, I decided to look up that verse in a couple other translations. One said, "light of the living" and another was, "light of life".  

After thinking about these different phrases, I thought maybe why we, those of us who live in the almost year round gray, rainy weather, love and long for the sun so much is because of the lack of God's presence.  Not only is it rather dreary in weather, but spiritually its also a rather oppressive and seemingly deprived of God's presence.   Perhaps its not necessarily the sun we are longing for but God's life-giving-light, His presence; if we have such a lack of God's life giving light, wouldn't we start looking and seeking any kind of light, even artificial life giving light?  

Through out life there are so many ways where we long for the real deal so badly that we end up settling for and being deceived into the counterfeit of that thing.  Just think of how many times and ways the enemy has taken promises of God, attributes of God and even just the written word of God and twisted it, made a counterfeit of it, and humankind have fallen for it.  Now I'm not saying the sun is bad or soaking up the sun is bad, but I'm simply wondering if maybe the over obsession for tanning, whether tanning beds or laying out in the sun, is from the under laying need for life giving light.  And that longing will never be satisfied and no matter what amount of sun or light we get will be enough. It is only through being in God's presence will we find true satisfaction and true life.  And maybe that explains the desperate want to be tan, to have that "glow", its a longing to be in God's presence, like Moses had from being in the presence of God.  Only we often go about getting it in all the wrong places and ways.  Yet its just another counterfeit to cheat us out of the real deal, the only thing that is going to satisfy that need, want, longing in our innermost being.  

With the lie, we will always need more and never have enough, and we will just end up wearing  ourselves into a tizzy, only wanting more and yet never being fulfilled.  Its only in God's presence will that longing and need be fulfilled, we have eternal souls longing for an eternal home, bound in temporal body's, nothing in this life will ever satisfy these eternal souls.   So now let us walk in His presence, in His life-giving-light!          

It Is Good

" I will thank You forever, because You have done it.  I will wait for Your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly" 

You know those times when you're reading a passage of scripture and something about it just stands out to you; nothing in particular, but intrigues you to look it up? Well, this was one of those times.  As I was unpacking this passage and looking up the root meaning of each word, I realized the first mention of each of these words or phrases were in Genesis, specifically  creation. 

The first phrase that stuck out to me was, "because You have done it".  What has He done?  What is "it"?  In translating the meaning of these words, it is broken up to just the phrase "because You have done" the list goes on and on of its definition but its first mention is Genesis 1:7

"And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which [were] under the firmament  from the waters which  [were] above the firmament and it was so."  

The word here for "made" is of the same word that means "to be made done or have done". s
So what has He "done"?  He has "made".  

And than the small but very significant word, "it".  Again, first mention of the word is in Genesis 1:4 

"And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness."

  And  He saw that "it" was good, the very first time God calls something "good".  

The next phrase breakup is, "and I will wait", which means, look for, hope, expect, but the second meaning is, to collect or bind together.  And the first mention of this is in Genesis 1:9

"And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry [land] appear: and it was so."

And just as the phrase in the beginning, "You have done 'it'" this phrase "for it is good" is from the same passage in Genesis 1:4

Now to put all that together!  "Have done it", whatever "it" is in your life. God sees it and it is good!  Not just that, He planned it before the foundation of time, earth and light.  "I will wait for Your name..." while we are waiting for: the story of our life to unfold, the next step to be revealed, finish this chapter of our life or what have you; remember, just as He brought the whole world together He is bringing your life together.  As He made heaven and then dry land emerge from the waters and it was so, just as He spoke it, He is bringing our life together; from the highs of blessings and gifts from heaven to the waters that seem to cover our whole life, He makes dry land appear.  

When we wait for Him, and His timing, He makes it to be so and it is good.  Just as the sky above us, the heavens, He made and it its still so, still standing, stars still shining even though many have and do fall He makes sure our sky is full of those wonders that shine hope.  And just as the waves and tide rolls in and out everyday, when He said, 'This far you may come, but no farther, And here your proud waves must stop!' [Job 38:11] it was and is so.  The same is true in our lives, He has set up boundaries and the waves of life may only come to those boundaries and no further.  

And just as sure as the sun will rise when we awake and light streams in threw our window, He will shine His light in our lives, awaken our souls and not let the darkness overtake our light.  He has made that person for you, He has made this exact job for you, He has made that college, He has made your future, He has made your life and most importantly, He. Has. Made. You.  Just as in creation, He has brought all these aspects of you and brought it all together, all that concerns you He planed before the foundation of time!  He has done IT and it was so and it is good!       

City on a Hill

"Did you hear of the city on the hill?

Said one old man to other

It once shined bright and it would be shinning still

But they all started turning on each other

You see, the poets thought the dancer were shallow

And the soldiers thought the poets were weak

And the elders saw the young ones as foolish

And the rich man never heard the poor man speak 

And one by one, they ran away

With their made up minds, to leave it all behind

And the light began to fade, in the city on the hill 

Each one thought that they knew better

That they were different by design

Instead of standing strong together

They let their differences divide

 It was the rhythm of the dancers, that gave the poets life

It was the spirit of the poets, that gave the soldiers strength to fight

It was the fire of the young ones, it was the wisdom of the old

It was the story of the poor man that needed to be told

 And one by one, we'll be running away

With our made up minds, to leave it all behind

As the light begins to fade, in the city on the hill  

Come home and the Father's calling still

Come home to the city on the hill come home"

(by: Casting Crowns, City on a Hill)

What will become of us if we are divided against ourselves?  "If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.  And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand." - (Mark 3:24-25) Will we fade away to a vapor of mystery, a tall-tale told to the passerby, foreigner and the children who wonder where the light has gone.  A story told as a wish and dream rather than a continued memory or reality.  A city, strong and mighty, it was a fortress no enemy could break down or tear apart, but it was destroyed by its own, by its countrymen.  Don't bother to look for its remains or rubble, for as each left they each took his own work he did, each stone laid and every brick stacked.  The only thing that remains of this city is this tale that we tell of the city that stood on a hill.

"For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many are one body, so also is Christ...and if they were all one member, ehre would the body be?  but now indeed there are many members, yet one body.  And the eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you.' ; nor again the head to the feet, 'I have no need of you.'" 1Corinthians 12:12,19-21

   

Worth It

We grumble about the place we are in or we cry out to God as to why He has placed us in this circumstance, why and do we really have to do the hard thing and we wonder in frustration and desperation, "Is it worth it?".  Is the struggle, the pain, walking by faith when everything and everyone says the opposite way is the way, the hurt, trusting in the unseen and leaving the tangle for something we ourselves aren't sure will come to pass - Is it worth the humbling process and dying of self and pride, risking it all in a leap of faith, is it worth our comfort? 
 But what if He called us here just for that encouraging word to that someone? Or prophetic word into a wondering life? What if He put us in that circumstance to show His love to that person though us? That He wanted to show this person His power, might, love mercy and saving grace through our life story, He chose us to be living proof? Picture those people who you have spoken those words, talked to casually but it meant the world to them, the ones who God has placed in your life. Can we look into their eyes, each one, one by one, each face, let it capture you and steal your heart. Now, are they worth it?

Living Proof

I am a pilgrim, a weary traveler who has traveled though my past, reclaiming ground that I once lost. I have visited past hurts and sorrows, regrets and betrayals and rewrote the ending to read "redeemed". 

I live a sojourners life, scattered abroad the earth in lands that I do not call my home. Living out a life moving forward, and taking the next step my Author and Finisher of my faith writes, wherever that might be; on Mt. tops, downslopes, over countless hills and just as many valleys. 

My heart cries out for true worship and my soul longs for the supernatural. I am living proof my Redeemer redeems.

Riding on The Lord's Power

I am at the coast this weekend and my view right now is looking out over the ocean and crashing waves. Today is particularly windy and somewhat stormy, and every once and a while I can see a flock of seagulls gliding in the gust of powerful wind. It has made me think of how the Holy Spirit and power, strength of God is like the the powerful wind, it lifts us up and we just ride on the wind; we don't have to work at it or struggle. We lean into the mighty power of the Holy Spirit and open up our arms wide and we take flight and He raises us up to do the impossible, fearful, do the thing we could not do on our own strength or power or might.

"You O Lord, raise me up to stand on mountains,

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas,

and I am strong when I am on Your shoulders,

You raise me up to more than I can be."

Suffering to Complete

^"For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings....Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. ¹⁸ For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted." - Hebrews 2:10, 17-18

Jesus suffering made complete, our captain of our salvation because He is able to understand and help us when we are in need and troubled. Jesus then, was made complete not from being perfect, but from going through suffering. Why then would it be any different for us? We are made complete through suffering. And made perfect through Jesus. His perfect-ness came from being sin-less, His complete-ness came from suffering.

New Revelation to Old Scriptures

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and lean no on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

Those of us who have grown up in the church or have been walking with the LORD for a long time often forget the depths and full understanding of scripture because we have heard them all growing up. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of those scriptures that we've all read a lot, at least me, read it tons of times and then one day you read it and its like a whole new verse and a new revelation, you jump up and say, "I get it! ". That happened to me today with this scripture.

To trust in the Lord with all my heart - I can often trust God on a surface level and say, 'I'm going to trust You Lord in this.' but then am still depressed, I try and contrive my own plan, and worry how things will work out. But He wants me to trust Him with my whole heart not leaving any room for worry or still try and plan my own cores. Wholeheartedly trusting Him.

Lean on my own understanding - I am not to lean one way or the other with my own limited human understanding. For instances, how we say, 'I'm leaning more towards this..or that' I shouldn't lean one way or the other with only my understanding of the problem or situation.

In all my ways acknowledge Him - So many times I acknowledged He is there, reigning in heaven but not present in my circumstance. Or I know that He is there but I won't acknowledge Him or His view point. But it says, in all my ways acknowledge Him. I know when I was little and I was trying to figure something out or something to fit I would be so stubborn and sit there and get frustrated trying on my own understanding, as it were, to get it to work. And when my mom would come by and ask if she could help or try and enlighten me how it went or how it should go I would, in my stubbornness, say, 'No, I can do this! Me do!'; and totally disregard and not acknowledge her there or her help of way to do it.

He shall direct my paths - This goes right along with the explanation above in that, once I do acknowledge Him there and His help, He will direct my paths. Just as if I had acknowledged my mom and her help and better knowledge of how things work she would help me understand lead me in the right path to figure it out or getting it to work. So too, when I acknowledge the LORD, His presences in the situation and His infinite wisdom and foreknowledge, He shall direct my paths.

Psalms 120-121

" In my distress I cried to the LORD, and He heard me. Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips and from a deceitful tongue...Woe is me that I dwell in Meshech, that I dwell among the tents of Kedar! My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war." psalm 120:1-2,5-7

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills - from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." psalm 121:1-2

I so often forget that in scripture where our English translation and the set up of chapters you often lose the fluidness of going from one chapter to the next; that they all really flow one right into the other. Here we see the psalmist crying out in distress to the LORD, to be delivered from a place, people and situation that stirred up discord, unrest and war. I am sure a lot of us can relate to the psalmist here, you don't have to look to far to find disunity, wars stirring up (whether within churches, friendships, family or even within country's). Or think of any situation that has cause your soul to cry out in desperation and despair and distress to the Father for help, rescuing, deliverance from the evil and unrest surrounding you. That every time you try and make amends or to work things out peaceably they want nothing to do with it or you. Maybe perhaps you have felt like a foreigner, in a land that was dark and cut off from worship to the One True God. That is exactly how the psalmist felt! For "Meshech" means 'foreigner' and "Kedar" means 'dark' to be cut off from worship to the One True God.

In this world, this house of war, where life is often distressing and this place of residence seems so far away for us sojourners who are on pilgrimage home to true worship to our God and fellowship with our Father; where our hearts cry out for help from this land were these eternal souls have dwelled to long in a foreign place, there is a Help.

Just as the psalmist realized, as we move to the next chapter we see that after we pour out our hearts like water before the throne of The King, our Father[Lamentations 2:19]. And we stop, look up and lift our eyes to the hills, its then that our Father lifts our chin up higher, towards the heavens and we realize, where our help comes from; the strength to keep walking forward when your feet are blistered and weary, the endurance and hope to continue living life in a dark oppressed land, the boldness to speak the peaceable response to the person who has only cause discord and unrest.

My help to do all those things, comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; the residences where He has called us to live in this moment, that person whom the Lord desires to use you to show and speak His love to, places where we have been chosen and called to prove God's presences. He created all. For our good and His glory.

In the midst of our distress God created a Keeper the LORD to keep us where ever we go[psalm 121], a Helper the Holy Spirit to teach us all things and to bring to our remembrance all things He has said to us[john14:26] and Rescuer the Savior Jesus Christ to save us and deliver us [Luke 2:11, Luke 4:18-21]

Because He is Our Father...

When we are set with a path to take, up and over hills, through the valleys and top of mountians, we take each step knowing our help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth; mountain tops, rolling hills and the deepest valleys. And when He created them we were ever present on His mind, knowing we would one day be walking through them. He made it hard enough that we would rely on His strength to reach the mountain top. He made the path long enough so that we would know we wouldn't be able to go on to the next hill unless He gave us the perseverance to carry on and the grace to endure. He made the valleys dark so that we would build our faith and hope by taking one step at a time with the lamp He shone for us to light up just the next step. That is why He made that beautiful sunset that left you breathless in awe of your Creator. The morning dew grass to show you the many tears the Father has cried over you because how purely clean the drop is is how clearly pure He sees you. Wild flowers scattered bout the valleys that fill your heart with giddy joy and makes you dance before your King; and in turn He is over come with joy to see His daughter dance with praise, He joins you in the dance and sweeps you off your feet. That is why He made the flower smell sweet, the sunshine feel warm, snow crunch beneath your feet and fall leaves to dance wildly when they fall. To make sure His child could see all the beauty He sees in you; that along your journey there would always be a treasure to be found, a love letter waiting to be read, a gift to be opened, a blessing to enjoy. Because He is our Father, He thinks of these things.

"I will lift my eyes to the hills- from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD who made heaven and earth." - Psalm 121